Mettaton vs Zoolander
Description This was my first fight. Now we make it my best. Intro Wiz: Fame and fortune is something men and women alike have dreamt about having. Boomstick: But so many people have shown this can be a bad thing too. It might get you into trouble or even turn ''you ''into the trouble. Wiz: Mettaton, the superstar of the underground. Boomstick: And Derek Zoolander, the greatest male model ever. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their fame, money, and looks to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE. Mettaton Wiz: Long ago, humans and monsters ruled over Earth. Boomstick: It was pretty cool. That is until humans do what humans do best and fuck over the life of an enter race because they exist. ' Wiz: Humans waged war over the monsters out of fear. Thanks to our stronger souls, we were able to trap monsters down underground. '''Boomstick: The underground was like a doctor's waiting room. There's no sunlight, people who want out as much as you do, and only one piece of entertainment on TV. That entertainment being the handsome and robotic Mettaton. ' Wiz: Well most in the underground didn't really like humans for obvious reasons, a few people liked humans. One of those people being Mettaton the ghost. 'Boomstick: Mettaton wanted nothing more than to entertain humans, so he started a human fan club. Only one person showed. The weeaboo and scientist, Alphys. ' Wiz: After the two became friends, Alphys promised to build a robotic body for Mettaton so he could become a superstar. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut she only really did it so she could impress Asgore by making a human killing robot. After that, Mettaton became the superstar of the underground. 'Boomstick: That was until a human showed up. Alphys got so obsessed with their adventure she told Mettaton to act like he was evil so Alphys could go to the rescue. With that, Mettaton received some weapons. Bombs, chainsaws, cooking ingredients, and he can even fly. ' Wiz: Mettaton's greatest ability in rectangle form is the fact that only magic attacks can harm him. However, he does have a much-preferred form. There's a switch on his back, flipping it will result in..well... OH YES! Mettaton Ex is shown. '''Boomstick: Holy shit! Where the fuck was he keeping that body? Wiz: Somewhere...This is Mettaton Ex, a form of Mettaton that's much better at combat. Boomstick: With legs like those, you would be right to think that. Ex has bombs, mini-Mettatons, disco balls that shoot lasers, and a lot more. Wiz: Mettaton can even remove his soul from his body, causing it to shoot bolts everywhere. However, this leaves his soul wide open for attacking, and if it's damaged and goes back into Mettaton's body, he would lose limbs.' ' Boomstick: Well Ex may be beautiful, Mettaton still has one last form. ' ''Mettaton: Come any closer and I'll be forced to show you...MY TRUE FORM!!! '''Boomstick: Don't be intimated Boomstick. Mettaton Neo is shown. '' '''Boomstick: OH NO HE'S HOT! ' Wiz: As he says, this is his true form. Mettaton Neo. This is what Mettaton was first built for, human eradication. Boomstick: As you can see from the blaster and the wings, he's pretty intimidated but there's one problem. ' Wiz: Mettaton Neo just stands there...never attacking even with his 90 Atk power. Mettaton, in general, has a few flaws himself. '''Boomstick: He's egotistical and his Ex & Neo forms can be hurt by nonmagic attacks. But even if he was built for show, you shouldn't mess with this robot. ' Zoolander Wiz: Ever since the dawn of fashion, modeling as been a big part of it. '''Boomstick: And male-modeling to. I tried male modeling but the thing is once I took my shirt off the cameraman's face melted. But that's another story for another day. Wiz: Models are usually seen as dumb. Brainless. They say the better someone is at modeling, the dumber they are. And a man who might prove the true is Derek Zoolander. Boomstick: Derek has the biggest ego in the world. He first decided male-modeling was his call when he was eating cereal. ''' Wiz: Well eating cereal, his revelation came into his spoon. He then realized he looked really handsome and soon became a celebrity. '''Boomstick: Lamest back story ever. Wiz: He was able to win over the media with his beautiful looks. MAGNUM! Wiz: FERRARI! Wiz: LE TIGER! Wiz: AND BLUE STEEL! Boomstick: Whoa, Deja vu. ' Wiz: But Zoolander's story doesn't end there. Hell, it hasn't even started. Zoolander's story starts with an evil fashion company. '''Boomstick: And Will Farrel. ' Wiz: You see, the Prime Minister of Malaysia was trying to end child labor. The company needed those laws so they could keep making money and hardly pay anyone. '''Boomstick: They needed to kill the minister, however, they didn't want to get shut down, so they thought the next best thing to do was hypnotize a male model into killing him. And then Zoolander was chosen to do that because of his low intelligence. And it kinda worked. Wiz: They reprogramed Zoolander with fighting skills. He would turn into a fighter and killer whenever he heard the song "Relax." Boomstick: In this state, Zoolander can do flips, cannot be distracted, and can snap a human neck. And remember Magnum? That look is so handsome that it can stop things thrown at him. It was able to stop a bomb in mid-air and a ninja star. ' Wiz: However, out of this state Zoolander is his dumb old self. '''Boomstick: When the evil fashion company bribed him by saying they would build the learning center Zoolander always wanted, and he mistook the model for the actual thing. He even used the wax used to make the model for the actual center, killing his wife. ' Wiz: Zoolander may not be bright, or a fighter. But he can defend himself if needed. 'Boomstick: Yeah, I'd say there's potential. ' Pre-fight Wiz: Alright the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all. 'Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A FASHION BATTLE! ' Fight We open to a walkway/stage with lights and cameramen ready to take photos. Out from the stage walks Derek Zoolander. He walks down the walkway and strikes a pose. The cameramen love it and take photos. Derek strikes more poses, loving the attention. '???: Oh darling. Save that spotlight for someone more deserving. ' A robot comes out. He has legs and hair that makes the camera flashing go wild. That robot named Mettaton walks to the stage and pushes Zoolander off. He poses for the camera. Zoolander: HEY! Derek climbs back on stage. Zoolander: Who do you think you are? Messing with a perfect male model like that. '' '''Mettaton: Mettaton is the name. Stealing the spotlight is my game. ' Zoolander: Well, I'm going to bring my face to your fist! '''Mettaton: Don't you mean fist to my face? Zoolander: Yeah, that too. '' Zoolander poses and the cameras are redirects at him. Mettaton starts poses and they shift their attention to him. The two have a pose battle until Mettaton punches Derek of the stage and into a table. The cameramen run away at this. The male model gets up and throws a fork at Mettaton. The folk hits his eye. Mettaton pulls it out. Zoolander gets back on stage. ''Zoolander: Alright, Man who is not a man but instead a machine. Prepared to be out beautied! Mettaton: You're on, oldie. FIGHT! ' Derek tries to through a punch at the robot, but it's caught by Mettaton. The ghost twists the hand and kicks Zoolander in the face three times with his glorious legs. Mettaton slaps Zoolander and pushes him aside. '''Mettaton: Looks like that didn't last long. ' He jumps in the air with his foot point, ready bring the finishing blow, when a song starts playing and a voice comes into Zoolander's head. "Does this wonderful 80's classic sooth you. Just a nice. Warm. Happy time. Nothing to worry about at all. Just '''relax." UGH! Mettaton's foot is in Derek's hand. Derek forces it down and punches Mettaton straight in the face and then kicks the robot back. Mettaton gets up. Mettaton: I see you've manned up. Now it's time for a true face off. ''' Both throw a kick and the legs hit each other. Zoolander backhands Mettaton and the robot grabs Derek's neck, but Zoolander shoulders it off. Mettaton walks backward and pulls something from behind his back. He throws a bomb at Zoolander. Derek performs a look and the bomb falls. Zoolander kicks the bomb at Mettaton, it explodes in front of Mettaton, knocking him back. '''Mettaton: Enogh of this! Mettaton jumps up and launches flying Minitons, bombs, and a disco ball. Zoolander looks at the Minitons and bombs with Magnum. The Minitons fall onto the runway and the bombs blow up the tables of food and cameras around the runway. Zoolander takes a Miniton and throws it at the disco ball and Mettaton. The disco ball falls and crashes and then small robots being thrown causes Mettaton to fall of the studio lights he was standing on and falls down. Mettaton: Whatever. This next form eats humans like you FOR BREAKFAST! Mettaton Ex transforms into Mettaton Neo. Zoolander runs at Neo. The two punch each other and dodge each other for awhile before Zoolander lands a blow on Mettaton's heart. Derek notices the studio lights are about to fall. He gets out of the way. Before the lights fall off the room, Mettaton's soul gets out of his body. The light falls on Neo's head. The music stops. Zoolander snaps out of his trance and sees the distruction. Zoolander: What happened here? '' A lightning bolt hits Zoolander's leg. ''Zoolander: My leg! Another hit his torso. Zoolander: My eating thingy! Mettaton's soul had been firing those bolts. He fired more and they hit Zoolander. He started bleeding, more hit him and his right arm came off, then his left leg, then his left arm, then his head. The one-legged Zoolander had fallen on the runway. KO! Aftermath Boomstick: His 15 minutes of fame are up. ' Wiz: This wasn't a close fight at all. Sure, Magnum was very useful for Zoolander, seeing as 60% of Mettaton's attacks are projectiles. However, Mettaton could probably fire his attacks faster than Zoolander could counter them. '''Boomstick: Mettaton is made out of metal and Zoolander's fists have never been shown to punch through that stuff. And well Zoolander may know martial arts, he's no killing machine. ' Wiz: And never forget that Mettaton Neo was a form designed to kill humans like Zoolander. Even if he never attacks, if he did, Zoolander would be screwed looking at Mettaton's stats. 'Boomstick: Mettaton was ''ahead ''of Zoolander from the very start. ' Wiz: The winner is Mettaton. Comparison '''Mettaton: +Duriblity +Speed +Experiance +Legs =Inteligence =Strength Zoolander: +....basically nothing =Inteligence =Strength -Durability -Speed -Experience Category:Rebooted Death Battles Category:Christianthepupbot Category:Human vs Robot themed DEATH BATTLEs Category:Human vs Creature themed DEATH BATTLEs Category:Human vs Ghost themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2017